How can I block someone here?6480
 Collector
|
X51 private msg quote post Address this user | |
Quote:Originally Posted by DocBrown When I got hired as a Quality Inspector, someone said I had the ability to criticize someone's work and still make them feel good about themselves. Generally speaking, people don't respect a weak-minded perspective. You aren't going to be persuasive if you say "maybe" or "I don't know" a lot. Being persuasive involves empathy and understanding what is going through the other person's mind. Even if direct logic asserts that something should be a certain way, direct logic should also assert that some people act based upon emotion and emotions have to be factored. It is a balancing act which leaves the other people feeling that they were treated with respect. |
||
| Post 101 • IP flag post | ||
 Collector
|
Logan510 private msg quote post Address this user | |
Quote:Originally Posted by X51 I think this is very true. It's not that hard to get your point across to someone without belittling them, though it's possible some don't realize they're doing that. |
||
| Post 102 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
X51 private msg quote post Address this user | |
Quote:Originally Posted by Logan510 I am not auto-contrarian! Ha! Ha! Ha! Don't confuse written conversation with spoken conversation. If someone is saying something I agree with online, I don't need to repeat it or chime in and say "I agree" a hundred times. In a huddled conversation, I can nod my head "yes" and make eye contact. Unless I am elaborating upon or expanding on another person's point of view, the only thing in written conversation that will inspire me to write is a contrary point of view. I equate masses of people self-validating themselves to be a circle jerk. I've called it a hive mind in the past. Sycophants and claques as a general rule do not earn a lot of respect from me and I show it accordingly when the mission is to collectively invalidate an opposing perspective. |
||
| Post 103 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
X51 private msg quote post Address this user | |
Quote:Originally Posted by Logan510 I'm quite capable of not belittling someone. I prefer to talk to people at their own level. If someone chooses to belittle me, my preference is to show them or redefine in their mind what belittling constitutes. Belittling is a tactic used and it can make the other person feel like they have a tactical advantage in a conversation. By returning the behavior with merciless revenge, I like to make the other person regret their decision. I like that regret to last an entire lifetime until they get over the thought that it was a wise course of action. I do not believe in rewarding bad behavior with a response that is beneficial to the person who did it. |
||
| Post 104 • IP flag post | ||
 Collector
|
DocBrown private msg quote post Address this user | |
| Perspective's a funny thing, innit...? Someone reads something that someone else says and interprets it in a way that they regard as "belittling" or "demeaning." No one likes to be corrected or challenged. That's true of all humanity. So, is it possible that, since people don't like to be challenged or corrected, that they interpret ANY such challenge or correction as "belittling" or "demeaning", even when, by an objective analysis, it's not even remotely those things...? Of course. Not only is it possible, it happens every day. "That's not true" followed by "How DARE you tell me I'm wrong! You're BELITTLING ME!!!" The healthy response, then, is first self-examination: "am I taking this personally, when it's not intended to be so? Am I being oversensitive?" Next, inquisition, with the aim of resolution: "I took this comment this way. Did you mean it that way?" If their response is "no, I meant it this way", then you have confirmed that you MISinterpreted a comment, and ought to adjust yourself accordingly. If their response is "no, and stop being so sensitive"...they're giving you good advice, even if not in a manner designed to leave you warm and fuzzy. If their response is "hell yes, and I'd do it again"...then you have your answer. The only person whose reactions you can control is you. When you let other people endlessly offend you, whether they're trying to offend you or not...to the point of carrying on a campaign against them for years, and even decades...you have needlessly given them space in your head, rent free, that could be used for far more productive ventures. Perspective's a funny thing. |
||
| Post 105 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
X51 private msg quote post Address this user | |
| Some people say.. "You are angry, why don't you get over it!?" To this I reply "Why would I get over it? I chose to be angry!" My thinking is clear and concise when I'm angry. Most people are the opposite. |
||
| Post 106 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
Logan510 private msg quote post Address this user | |
| If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck...even if it thinks it’s Bob Ross. | ||
| Post 107 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
DocBrown private msg quote post Address this user | |
| And that doesn't even begin to address the intellectual dishonesty and disingenuousness of those trying to provoke conflict for the sake of conflict. You cannot start from a position of animosity and hostility and yet pretend to be in a position of moral superiority with regards to someone else being "demeaning." If you're going to call someone out for being "demeaning", you have to have what the law calls "clean hands." You must be operating in good faith. If you're not...you're the problem, not the one perceived to be "demeaning" you or others. In other words...you can't impugn someone's motives, and then accuse them of "demeaning" you when they tell you you're full of shit. |
||
| Post 108 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
Logan510 private msg quote post Address this user | |
| Perspective is a funny thing. | ||
| Post 109 • IP flag post | ||
 I've spent years perfecting my brand of assholery.
|
DrWatson private msg quote post Address this user | |
Quote:Originally Posted by Logan510 It's even funnier when it's obvious that someone lacks it. |
||
| Post 110 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
DocBrown private msg quote post Address this user | |
Quote:Originally Posted by DrWatson That's the funniest. |
||
| Post 111 • IP flag post | ||
 Collector
|
MR_SigS private msg quote post Address this user | |
| Honest question- Isn't it somewhat belittling or demeaning to suggest a person doesn't truly believe what they're posting, and that they're just playing devil's advocate? EDIT: Or should I say, "Couldn't it be perceived as somewhat..?" |
||
| Post 112 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
DocBrown private msg quote post Address this user | |
Quote:Originally Posted by MR_SigS ...or that they're too stupid to "realize" that they're "belittling" others? |
||
| Post 113 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
DocBrown private msg quote post Address this user | |
| Here's another question: if both sides think that it's the other side that "lacks perspective"...who's right? | ||
| Post 114 • IP flag post | ||
 Collector
|
KingNampa private msg quote post Address this user | |
| Guys stop for a second a look at the futility of this thread and the back and forth. There is no point. | ||
| Post 115 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
X51 private msg quote post Address this user | |
| If I hold up a 1970's penny and show you Lincon's face, you will tell me you see Lincoln's face. I come back and say, "I clearly see the Lincoln Memorial." An opposing perspective does not make the other person wrong. |
||
| Post 116 • IP flag post | ||
 I bought a meat grinder on amazon for $60 and it's changed my life.
|
kaptainmyke private msg quote post Address this user | |
Quote:Originally Posted by X51 Which is why my mother-in-law don't see eye-to-eye. She's an extremely religious person. Like, super extreme. It's all she holds onto. |
||
| Post 117 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
X51 private msg quote post Address this user | |
Quote:Originally Posted by KingNampa Here is a completely different perspective that must be given weight. |
||
| Post 118 • IP flag post | ||
|
I bought a meat grinder on amazon for $60 and it's changed my life.
|
kaptainmyke private msg quote post Address this user | |
| Yep. He lives on an island and already thinks he's entitled over all of us. He told me. | ||
| Post 119 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
X51 private msg quote post Address this user | |
Quote:Originally Posted by kaptainmyke I can usually debate religion peacefully. |
||
| Post 120 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
Logan510 private msg quote post Address this user | |
Quote:Originally Posted by MR_SigS How is it demeaning when they fully admit it's what they're doing? You've been around message boards long enough to know that there's always a handful of people who're auto contrarians. Personal pet peeve of mine, but that's neither here nor there. |
||
| Post 121 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
Logan510 private msg quote post Address this user | |
Quote:Originally Posted by KingNampa There's a back and forth going on? I thought it was just people offering different perspectives on the subject. No hostility from this end, can't speak for others though. |
||
| Post 122 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
KingNampa private msg quote post Address this user | |
The OP just asked if there was a block feature and now look at it. The OP left after the 1st page.  |
||
| Post 123 • IP flag post | ||
|
I bought a meat grinder on amazon for $60 and it's changed my life.
|
kaptainmyke private msg quote post Address this user | |
| It's evolved into deep meaningful discussion about debate. I think that's a good thing. | ||
| Post 124 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
Logan510 private msg quote post Address this user | |
Quote:Originally Posted by KingNampa Thread drift is pretty normal isn't it? As long as it doesn't devolve into snarky, passive aggressive comments or outright hostility it should be OK and if not I'm sure the mods will do something about it. |
||
| Post 125 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
DocBrown private msg quote post Address this user | |
| Wow. That's pretty bold. Wow! |
||
| Post 126 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
DocBrown private msg quote post Address this user | |
| For those without a playbook, there's been quite a bit of passive/aggressive posturing going on, despite implications to the contrary. Believe not what people say. Believe what they do. |
||
| Post 127 • IP flag post | ||
 Collector
|
Etkt private msg quote post Address this user | |
| I learn a lot about comics and collecting comics on this forum. There are a lot of folks here that take things too personally, in my view, and others that simply like to challenge for the sake of challenge. All in all I enjoy this forum. Post 116 by X51 reminded me of a valuable lesson I learned back in 1992 in a class for middle management (subject of the class is not important to my point). I hope the point will come through in this summary: The class was divided into two groups based on the results of a personality test. Each group had two flip charts that the other group could not observe. The instruction was to write, using a magic marker, on one of the charts, which was a clean piece of paper, all of the things that we could see on the other chart. Our chart looked like a military recruitment poster. We dutifully wrote down something like the following: tank, aircraft carrier, jet, soldier, M-16 rifle, etc. The other group did the same with their poster. The flip charts were then turned such that each group could see the others poster. The posters were identical, however, the other group did not write down a single item that we had listed. Rather, their list included such things as: aggression, hostility, destruction, conflict, war, etc. I was absolutely astonished. I completely understood their point, however, I actually walked to their poster and said "you can't see this tank right here?" It was an eye-opening event for me. Not everyone hears what I hear or sees what I see. Very cool experience. |
||
| Post 128 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
X51 private msg quote post Address this user | |
Quote:Originally Posted by Logan510 In an ideal situation, I'd be conversing with highly knowledgeable people who are conveying tidbits of information that I find to be educational. I would learn something useful and walk away feeling as though I gained something positive. Unfortunately, it's harder to get people motivated to post that kind of content. |
||
| Post 129 • IP flag post | ||
|
Collector
|
DocBrown private msg quote post Address this user | |
Quote:Originally Posted by Etkt So, then, what is your conclusion? How, if I see blue, and you see green, does it get resolved, since both can't be true in an absolute sense, and such conflict means little to nothing can be meaningfully achieved...? How do you resolve conflict, in other words? |
||
| Post 130 • IP flag post | ||
Thread locked. No more posts permitted. Return home.