How Would You Handle This Situation? (Friend’s Estate)21776
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 I’m Kinda Married To A Celebrity.
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00slim private msg quote post Address this user | |
| I got the call a couple weeks ago that a friend of mine had suddenly passed away. He was only 56. We had lost contact due to a move a couple years ago, but would text about lunch plans and such. It’s one of those situations that makes you say, “why didn’t I make more of an effort to hang out?”. A lesson I continually relearn: Tell those close to you that you love them. You don’t know how much time you have with them. Anyway, my friend was also a comic book collector. When dealing with my late uncle’s estate a couple years ago, I learned what an undertaking it can be. I wanted to help, but didn’t want to sound like some sort of opportunist. As it turns out, his mom almost immediately brought up his collection when I went to express my condolences. I offered to assist the family with assessing his collection for them. She appreciated this, but said she wanted to hang onto them for sentimental reasons. Then, yesterday, she called me and said I was welcome to come over and take whatever I wanted of his that I needed for my personal collection. What a kind and generous offer. She also extended this invitation to a mutual friend of ours. The thing is, my personal collecting focus is fairly narrow. To cut down on bulk collecting, I collect mainly first appearances. I’m usually after the rarer, more (monetarily) valuable books. I wouldn’t feel right taking these from his collection. I’d much rather buy them to help the family. I also don’t want to pick out all the best books and leave my mutual friend with only dreck when he has a chance to go through them. My thought is to pull what stands out as keys and let them know what they have. I’ll give them a rough estimation of value and let them tell me what they want to do. I just don’t know. Is showing up with cash (just in case) in bad taste? It’s a weird position to be in. Any input would be appreciated. |
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| Post 1 • IP flag post | ||
 I do what I can.
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TheShocker private msg quote post Address this user | |
| First off may your friend RIP. Now I think you ahould bring cash and once your done picking the keys you're interested let them know the estimated value of the collection and then the value of the ones you picked. Explain like you did here l: " I mean no disrespect but I would like to buy these from you to help the family with costs. This is the best way to handle it because you ultimately put the ball in their court and allow them to give you a more educated answer as a pose to them thinking they are worthless. This included them saying to just take them because your were a good friend or anything along those lines. | ||
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 Not trying to be an ass since February 12, 2020.
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HulkSmash private msg quote post Address this user | |
| I would accept the offer. I would not go crazy, maybe only pick 1 that holds memories of that person. I would also ask if what I pick is ok to take. Accepting such an offer is not in bad taste (unless you make it so by taking advantage) and it shows what you mean to this family to have been offered a piece of his collection so soon after passing. My condolences to you and the family. At the very least you can use the offer to value some of the collection as you mentioned. |
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| Post 3 • IP flag post | ||
 Collector
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grapeape private msg quote post Address this user | |
| If they have Action Comic 1 type stuff you lead the family to an auction house suited to find the most buyers. Other than that, I think it's okay to make offers on some books that you need in your personal collection. It looks like they trust you because you didn't come off like a guy with only self interest in mind. They will appreciate help and fair offers. People who don't collect find dealing with a bulk daunting, even paralyzing. Assess the situation, and get cracking! Also, I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. Mike in sunny (not today) so cal |
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| Post 4 • IP flag post | ||
 I live in RI and Rhode Islanders eat chili with beans.
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esaravo private msg quote post Address this user | |
| Ryan - Sorry for the loss of your friend. I would take up the offer to look at the collection and pick out a few books. I would also try to give them a rough appraisal of the collection, if possible, and offer to help in any way if the family decides to sell it off. I would also educate them on what to expect (money-wise and time-wise) from different sales choices. For example, a dealer might only offer 25% to 50% of the value of the key issues for the entire collection. Depending on the size and quality of the collection, you could even contact Steve Borock or MCS to see if they are interested. I would also offer to pay a fair price for the books you end up obtaining for your PC. Good luck. |
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| Post 5 • IP flag post | ||
 I've spent years perfecting my brand of assholery.
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DrWatson private msg quote post Address this user | |
| Go pick out what you think your friend would have wanted you to have and best represents his memory. | ||
| Post 6 • IP flag post | ||
 Collector
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NDS private msg quote post Address this user | |
| Sorry to hear about your loss. That is never fun and you are right about telling your friends what they mean to you. I would accept the offer as the Mom will know that the books are going somewhere safe and the memories will mean something to You and the Other friend. I think offering them a good value for the books is the right thing to do, but maybe also offer up potentially taking that dollar value and making a donation to a scholarship, foundation, or something in honor of your friend that passed instead of paying them (or maybe it covers a portion of the funeral costs or a memorial stone or something). Generally something where the money can be used in honor of your friend. Just my 2 cents. Good luck |
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| Post 7 • IP flag post | ||
 Collector
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BrianGreensnips private msg quote post Address this user | |
| Sorry for the loss of your friend. I would honor his mom's request and pick out something special. I would recommend bringing some cash just in case it feels right.Buying the collection or part of it could help out the family too. Maybe if it is an overwhelming amount, reach out to the mutual friend and discuss going halfs on the whole collection. Best of luck with this endeavor. | ||
| Post 8 • IP flag post | ||
 I don't believe this....and I know you don't care that I don't believe this.
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GAC private msg quote post Address this user | |
| My condolences and RIP to your friend. Not sure if stated above but, put yourself in the position of his mom. She called you because she wants them gone. Maybe call your mutual friend and you go there together, cash in hand. Obviously, have the discussion about value to your friend so you're both on the same page and then communicate that message to your friends mom. Don't project your concerns onto his mom....meaning (obviously), be respectful but you are doing her a service by addressing the collection....you're taking some off her hands and also giving her direction on what to do with the remainder. Manage her expectations. Be fair and you and your friend will get books at a deal price but not highway robbery (50% off seems reasonable: Black Friday type discount that other comic retailers use). Remember, if you're not there to impart knowledge, she will likely get pennies on the dollar...reward yourself and your friend a little for your effort and knowledge...everyone wins. |
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| Post 9 • IP flag post | ||
 CBCS Pressing
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SteveRicketts private msg quote post Address this user | |
| My condolences to you for the loss. Having lost a friend in the past who collected, I just wish I had been able to pick up a few of his prized books for my own collection. I would have chosen a few books that meant something to him and kept them in his memory. As it ended up, his collection was sold before I knew about it, and all his books are just another book in someone else's box. They've lost the connection they had to him. I know he would not have wanted that. I say you go get something. If I had been given the chance I would have jumped on it. |
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I've spent years perfecting my brand of assholery.
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DrWatson private msg quote post Address this user | |
| I was lucky to get one of nik's books. I'd give almost anything to have gotten one of my friend's books who passed away in February 2024. Definitely do not miss this opportunity. |
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| Post 11 • IP flag post | ||
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I’m Kinda Married To A Celebrity.
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00slim private msg quote post Address this user | |
| So, I checked out the collection & pulled a small stack of books. I tried to pay for them repeatedly but the family absolutely refused. They said financially, everything is covered. They want the books to go to someone who will appreciate them. Then, after they are organized, it sounds like they want me to sell the bulk for them. 75% was unbagged & just as many were stored in storage bins, not proper comic boxes. One bin was such a jumbled mess, I almost skipped it. Other than the fact it was face down, this is how I found it. Seeing the back cover, I said aloud “no way”. But yes, way. I’ll post pics of the rest later.  |
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