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Share your favorite jokes:18325

I don't want to brag, but cashiers are always checking me out. power_struggle55 private msg quote post Address this user
I have an incredible power. If I swallow a string, it will come out the other end tied together. I shit you knot
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Masculinity takes a holiday. EbayMafia private msg quote post Address this user
If you are in Texas or Florida and you hear a man say "Hey everybody, look at me"...you should move away from him. There's a decent chance that man is about to die.
Post 52 IP   flag post
It was a one trick pony show but always hilarious. GAC private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by power_struggle55
I have an incredible power. If I swallow a string, it will come out the other end tied together. I shit you knot


Ha!.. and gross.
Post 53 IP   flag post
"Forum Overlord" bah ha ha ha... JustThatGuy private msg quote post Address this user
Why do jokes about light sabers and younglibgs are always funny?

Cause they never get old.
Post 54 IP   flag post
I don't want to brag, but cashiers are always checking me out. power_struggle55 private msg quote post Address this user
When does a joke become become a dad joke?
When it become aparent
Post 55 IP   flag post


being an ass and being a clown are two very different things. HAmistoso private msg quote post Address this user
How long does it take to go from sitting on one's a$$ to becoming an a$$?

About one sentence.
Post 56 IP   flag post
I don't want to brag, but cashiers are always checking me out. power_struggle55 private msg quote post Address this user
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9
Post 57 IP   flag post
Collector Zombiebigfoot private msg quote post Address this user
Two snowmen are enjoying a day in the park when one turns to the other and asks “Hey Tom, do you smell carrots?”.
Post 58 IP   flag post
You can't get good wood on the ball every time. HotKeyComics private msg quote post Address this user
there are 10 types of people in this world:
those who can read binary and those who can't
Post 59 IP   flag post
Collector Zombiebigfoot private msg quote post Address this user
What do Asgardians use to cook their slow cooked meals in? A Ragna-Crock-Pot!
Post 60 IP   flag post
Collector Zombiebigfoot private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by HotKeyComics
there are 10 types of people in this world:
those who can read binary and those who can't


I’m still grinning like the cat who stole the canary over this one. Lol!! 😂👍🏻
Post 61 IP   flag post
" . " Davethebrave private msg quote post Address this user
(E) Lee
Gyllenhaal
“The snake” Roberts
Post 62 IP   flag post
being an ass and being a clown are two very different things. HAmistoso private msg quote post Address this user
101010101010!!!
Post 63 IP   flag post
Collector Zombiebigfoot private msg quote post Address this user
Two blondes walk into a building. You think at least one of them would’ve seen it...
Post 64 IP   flag post
being an ass and being a clown are two very different things. HAmistoso private msg quote post Address this user
What is Satan's favorite snack?

Cinnamon raisin quick bread.
Post 65 IP   flag post
I award you no points… stanley_1883 private msg quote post Address this user
Nachos are simply Tacos that don’t have their lives together.
Post 66 IP   flag post
Collector Zombiebigfoot private msg quote post Address this user
Superman noticed Batman was walking a bit slow one night & decided to ask him if he was feeling alright. “I’m ok Clark,” Batman says. “It’s a brace I wear from time to time for this Bane in my back.”
Post 67 IP   flag post
I don't want to brag, but cashiers are always checking me out. power_struggle55 private msg quote post Address this user
When I see a couples name carved onto the side of a tree. I dont think "these two must be in love". I think "who brings a knife to a date"
Post 68 IP   flag post
I'll probably wake up constipated. Pre_Coder private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by power_struggle55
When I see a couples name carved onto the side of a tree. I dont think "these two must be in love". I think "who brings a knife to a date"

Ha!
Post 69 IP   flag post
I don't want to brag, but cashiers are always checking me out. power_struggle55 private msg quote post Address this user
Two men are in a bar drinking. The bar is on the 10th floor of a building. One of the men chugs a large beer. Goes to the window and jumps out. Sometime later he comes back. Chugs another beer and jumps out the window. Again comes back. Repeats it again.

The other man finally asks "How are you doing that?"

The first man responds "Oh, it's really simple physics. When you chug the beer, it makes you all warm inside and since warm air rises, if you just hold your breath you become lighter than air and float down to the sidewalk."

The other guy remarks "wow" and he wants to try. So he chugs a large beer and jumps out the window. Splat....dies instantly.

The bartender then looks over at the first person and says "Superman, you're an asshole when you're drunk."
Post 70 IP   flag post
being an ass and being a clown are two very different things. HAmistoso private msg quote post Address this user
What is Alfred's top secret codename?

Waynemaker
Post 71 IP   flag post
Collector Zombiebigfoot private msg quote post Address this user
What was Aquaman’s code name as a kid? Water boy.
Post 72 IP   flag post
Collector Zombiebigfoot private msg quote post Address this user
What kind of cookware does Tony Stark use? Peppers’ Pott’s.
Post 73 IP   flag post
Collector Zombiebigfoot private msg quote post Address this user
What are agriculture Autobots known as? Trans-Farmers.
Post 74 IP   flag post
I AM... THE Bat-Manuel MurrayC private msg quote post Address this user
A man who liked to party with his buddies got an ultimatum from his wife, "The next time you come home after a night of drinking with your buddies covered in your own vomit, I am leaving you and going home to my mother"

The man loved his wife dearly, and vowed to quit drinking so as not to lose her. One night his buddies show up at the front door begging him to go drinking with them. The man explained the situation with his wife, and the buddies said "We it planned out! Just put a $20 bill in your shirt pocket, and if you puke on yourself, tell your wife someone ELSE barfed on you, and he gave you $20 for dry cleaning"

Sure enough, the man came home drunk as a skunk and covered in his own vomit. He explained to his angry wife "Honey, this barf isn't mine. Some other guy puked on me and left $20 in my shirt pocket for dry cleaning". His wife reached into his shirt and pulled out $40, to which the man said "Oh yeah... he sh!t in my pants too"
Post 75 IP   flag post
Suck it up, buttercup!! KatKomics private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by power_struggle55
When I see a couples name carved onto the side of a tree. I dont think "these two must be in love". I think "who brings a knife to a date"


maybe it's just me?? lots of people have pocket knives all the time - how do you eat fruit? I mostly cut off pieces of apple, pear etc...so generally have a knife close at hand
Post 76 IP   flag post
If the viagra is working you should be well over a 9.8. xkonk private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by KatKomics
how do you eat fruit?


Personally, at home with a kitchen knife (if I cut it at all).
Post 77 IP   flag post
I blame the forum gremlins. figment private msg quote post Address this user
There are two types of people in the world.
1. Those who can extrapolate from an incomplete data set.
Post 78 IP   flag post
being an ass and being a clown are two very different things. HAmistoso private msg quote post Address this user
Have you heard the rumors that Zeus has been cheating on his wife?

Apparently it was all just Hera-say until he got the thunderclap.
Post 79 IP   flag post
You can't get good wood on the ball every time. HotKeyComics private msg quote post Address this user
not really my "favorite" joke... but..

Post 80 IP   flag post
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