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Going to go forward with my superman fan film finaly i am rewritren the scr6582

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Better angles of my script.
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I bought a meat grinder on amazon for $60 and it's changed my life. kaptainmyke private msg quote post Address this user
Would it be easier to copy/paste the words instead of screenshots...and, not for nothing, but maybe a link to a pdf shared at google docs or another public domain source link for uploading documents?
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I don't have that I thought I saved it but when i went back to the library my script document was not saved anymore so i just have the physical copy.
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@David_Kent I can appreciate the effort you are putting in on this.

Since you had asked me, I will give you a honest critique of what I've read so far. Granted, it would be easier to read if you had a scanner and could just scan the pages. But going off of what I can make out, here are a few things that I see.

1) Since this is mostly dialogue, your sentences need to sound like normal conversation. I'd suggest you read the sentences out loud so you know how they sound. Maybe even have two different people read the lines so you can hear how they sound. To me, they sound unnatural (for lack of a better word).

2) On the second page, you have Clark replying "I am too" to the doctor. That doesn't make sense as a reply. This is an example of my first point.

3) Basic sentence structure. This goes along with my first point also. Referring back to what the Doctor said on the bottom of page two, I think it would be better written as "Lex will be okay. However, he does suffer from short term memory loss. Anything that has happened in the last month he has forgotten." Then something like, "I'm glad you were here to dial 911, Kent." Then his reply works.

I guess I really have one point. It needs to sound more natural. Also, watch you tenses. This is a screen play, it should be written as if the people are talking today.

I like your premise of the story of exploring Lex and Kent's friendship. I hope you find this helpful. I wish you luck on this undertaking!!
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Jesse what did you think of Lionels part in the script ?
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Lionel Luthor his character in the script what did you think of how much he plays a part in it?
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I like the role he plays. He is definitely an antagonist. You could develop him into quite an important character.

With that, another thing you want to make sure to do is to separate the actions from the dialogue. I noticed there were some points where they ran together - the action immediately followed the dialogue on the same sentence.

I realize this is just a first draft, so I don't really see it as a major problem. But in your final draft, you will want them separated for clarification.
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Ok sounds good Jesse thanks I will do that !
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I bought a meat grinder on amazon for $60 and it's changed my life. kaptainmyke private msg quote post Address this user
Screenplays should always be in present tense. Flashbacks are past tense.
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I bought a meat grinder on amazon for $60 and it's changed my life. kaptainmyke private msg quote post Address this user
So you only have one physical copy? Well that's okay, you're going to do rewrites at least 6 times. That's anybody. Legit too.
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I bought a meat grinder on amazon for $60 and it's changed my life. kaptainmyke private msg quote post Address this user
Here is an example of a screenplay and it's format:

http://www.broke-off.com/screenplays/mojitobrothersfromtoledo/mbft.pdf
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Ok I will do another draft soon sounds good !
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I'll probably wake up constipated. Pre_Coder private msg quote post Address this user
@David looking good so far. The beauty is your not having to meet a deadline, so you can take your time and create something you'll be proud of. This should be interesting.
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I redid the formatting now the italics are not right with the dialogue
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I bought a meat grinder on amazon for $60 and it's changed my life. kaptainmyke private msg quote post Address this user
Respectfully, your grammar and format are wholly incorrect.
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Well this is the way I am going with it is still better then it was before
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And I am the director as well as playing Lex ,and my friend michael is playing superman.
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Buy this book, learn it, and live by it. Otherwise, quit.
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Hi djc are you just trying to give me good advice?
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