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How can I block someone here?6480

Collector X51 private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by DocBrown
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marximus
Now persuasion...

Persuasion is a real art. Requires actual people skills. Which most comic nerds, unfortunately, lack.


This raises an interesting question.

What is meant by the phrase "people skills", and how does one tell when someone else "lacks" it...?

Is it the ability to successfully negotiate business, which is the bulk of human activity?

Is it the ability to deal with customers in a way that retains them the most effectively?

Is it the ability to tell people exactly what they want to hear so that you're highly regarded in a community?

Is it the ability to take no stand on any issue, for fear of offending others?

Is it the ability to tell people the truth, even when it's painful or offensive to do so?

Interesting question indeed...


When I got hired as a Quality Inspector, someone said I had the ability to criticize someone's work and still make them feel good about themselves.

Generally speaking, people don't respect a weak-minded perspective. You aren't going to be persuasive if you say "maybe" or "I don't know" a lot. Being persuasive involves empathy and understanding what is going through the other person's mind. Even if direct logic asserts that something should be a certain way, direct logic should also assert that some people act based upon emotion and emotions have to be factored. It is a balancing act which leaves the other people feeling that they were treated with respect.
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Collector Logan510 private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by X51
Quote:
Originally Posted by DocBrown
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marximus
Now persuasion...

Persuasion is a real art. Requires actual people skills. Which most comic nerds, unfortunately, lack.


This raises an interesting question.

What is meant by the phrase "people skills", and how does one tell when someone else "lacks" it...?

Is it the ability to successfully negotiate business, which is the bulk of human activity?

Is it the ability to deal with customers in a way that retains them the most effectively?

Is it the ability to tell people exactly what they want to hear so that you're highly regarded in a community?

Is it the ability to take no stand on any issue, for fear of offending others?

Is it the ability to tell people the truth, even when it's painful or offensive to do so?

Interesting question indeed...


When I got hired as a Quality Inspector, someone said I had the ability to criticize someone's work and still make them feel good about themselves.

Generally speaking, people don't respect a weak-minded perspective. You aren't going to be persuasive if you say "maybe" or "I don't know" a lot. Being persuasive involves empathy and understanding what is going through the other person's mind. Even if direct logic asserts that something should be a certain way, direct logic should also assert that some people act based upon emotion and emotions have to be factored. It is a balancing act which leaves the other people feeling that they were treated with respect.


I think this is very true. It's not that hard to get your point across to someone without belittling them, though it's possible some don't realize they're doing that.
Post 102 IP   flag post
Collector X51 private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by Logan510
Quote:
Originally Posted by X51
Quote:
Originally Posted by Logan510
Quote:
Originally Posted by X51
It is not the requirement of a discussion that you change another persons mind. Some people think long term and pay attention to details. Some only care about what they see and feel now. People will always clash.
If a group collectively seeks to deny my right to a different opinion, I'll go elsewhere.


I have a feeling playing devil's advocate is one of your favorite pastimes?


It's a requirement where I work. My job is to find flaws. Engineers don't want flaws found in their work. I have to give weight to their point of view or basically my evaluations are negated down to nothing and my assessment loses all credibility. I've had my named dragged through the mud in email chains and then systematically made an engineering manager admit he was wrong when it came time to discuss the details in person.


Finding flaws for a living doesn't mean you have to be an auto contrarian though, does it?


I am not auto-contrarian! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Don't confuse written conversation with spoken conversation. If someone is saying something I agree with online, I don't need to repeat it or chime in and say "I agree" a hundred times. In a huddled conversation, I can nod my head "yes" and make eye contact.

Unless I am elaborating upon or expanding on another person's point of view, the only thing in written conversation that will inspire me to write is a contrary point of view.

I equate masses of people self-validating themselves to be a circle jerk. I've called it a hive mind in the past. Sycophants and claques as a general rule do not earn a lot of respect from me and I show it accordingly when the mission is to collectively invalidate an opposing perspective.
Post 103 IP   flag post
Collector X51 private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by Logan510
I think this is very true. It's not that hard to get your point across to someone without belittling them, though it's possible some don't realize they're doing that.


I'm quite capable of not belittling someone. I prefer to talk to people at their own level. If someone chooses to belittle me, my preference is to show them or redefine in their mind what belittling constitutes. Belittling is a tactic used and it can make the other person feel like they have a tactical advantage in a conversation. By returning the behavior with merciless revenge, I like to make the other person regret their decision. I like that regret to last an entire lifetime until they get over the thought that it was a wise course of action. I do not believe in rewarding bad behavior with a response that is beneficial to the person who did it.
Post 104 IP   flag post
Collector DocBrown private msg quote post Address this user
Perspective's a funny thing, innit...?

Someone reads something that someone else says and interprets it in a way that they regard as "belittling" or "demeaning."

No one likes to be corrected or challenged. That's true of all humanity.

So, is it possible that, since people don't like to be challenged or corrected, that they interpret ANY such challenge or correction as "belittling" or "demeaning", even when, by an objective analysis, it's not even remotely those things...?

Of course.

Not only is it possible, it happens every day. "That's not true" followed by "How DARE you tell me I'm wrong! You're BELITTLING ME!!!"

The healthy response, then, is first self-examination: "am I taking this personally, when it's not intended to be so? Am I being oversensitive?" Next, inquisition, with the aim of resolution: "I took this comment this way. Did you mean it that way?"

If their response is "no, I meant it this way", then you have confirmed that you MISinterpreted a comment, and ought to adjust yourself accordingly.

If their response is "no, and stop being so sensitive"...they're giving you good advice, even if not in a manner designed to leave you warm and fuzzy.

If their response is "hell yes, and I'd do it again"...then you have your answer.

The only person whose reactions you can control is you. When you let other people endlessly offend you, whether they're trying to offend you or not...to the point of carrying on a campaign against them for years, and even decades...you have needlessly given them space in your head, rent free, that could be used for far more productive ventures.

Perspective's a funny thing.
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Collector X51 private msg quote post Address this user
Some people say.. "You are angry, why don't you get over it!?" To this I reply "Why would I get over it? I chose to be angry!"

My thinking is clear and concise when I'm angry. Most people are the opposite.
Post 106 IP   flag post
Collector Logan510 private msg quote post Address this user
If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck...even if it thinks it’s Bob Ross.
Post 107 IP   flag post
Collector DocBrown private msg quote post Address this user
And that doesn't even begin to address the intellectual dishonesty and disingenuousness of those trying to provoke conflict for the sake of conflict.

You cannot start from a position of animosity and hostility and yet pretend to be in a position of moral superiority with regards to someone else being "demeaning."

If you're going to call someone out for being "demeaning", you have to have what the law calls "clean hands." You must be operating in good faith. If you're not...you're the problem, not the one perceived to be "demeaning" you or others.

In other words...you can't impugn someone's motives, and then accuse them of "demeaning" you when they tell you you're full of shit.
Post 108 IP   flag post
Collector Logan510 private msg quote post Address this user
Perspective is a funny thing.
Post 109 IP   flag post
If I could, I would. I swear. DrWatson private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by Logan510
Perspective is a funny thing.

It's even funnier when it's obvious that someone lacks it.
Post 110 IP   flag post
Collector DocBrown private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrWatson
Quote:
Originally Posted by Logan510
Perspective is a funny thing.

It's even funnier when it's obvious that someone lacks it.


That's the funniest.
Post 111 IP   flag post
Collector MR_SigS private msg quote post Address this user
Honest question- Isn't it somewhat belittling or demeaning to suggest a person doesn't truly believe what they're posting, and that they're just playing devil's advocate?

EDIT: Or should I say, "Couldn't it be perceived as somewhat..?"
Post 112 IP   flag post
Collector DocBrown private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by MR_SigS
Honest question- Isn't it somewhat belittling or demeaning to suggest a person doesn't truly believe what they're posting, and that they're just playing devil's advocate?


...or that they're too stupid to "realize" that they're "belittling" others?
Post 113 IP   flag post
Collector DocBrown private msg quote post Address this user
Here's another question: if both sides think that it's the other side that "lacks perspective"...who's right?
Post 114 IP   flag post
Collector KingNampa private msg quote post Address this user
Guys stop for a second a look at the futility of this thread and the back and forth. There is no point.
Post 115 IP   flag post
Collector X51 private msg quote post Address this user
If I hold up a 1970's penny and show you Lincon's face, you will tell me you see Lincoln's face.
I come back and say, "I clearly see the Lincoln Memorial." An opposing perspective does not make the other person wrong.
Post 116 IP   flag post
I bought a meat grinder on amazon for $60 and it's changed my life. kaptainmyke private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by X51
Generally speaking, people don't respect a weak-minded perspective. You aren't going to be persuasive if you say "maybe" or "I don't know" a lot.


Which is why my mother-in-law don't see eye-to-eye. She's an extremely religious person. Like, super extreme. It's all she holds onto.
Post 117 IP   flag post
Collector X51 private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by KingNampa
Guys stop for a second a look at the futility of this thread and the back and forth. There is no point.


Here is a completely different perspective that must be given weight.
Post 118 IP   flag post
I bought a meat grinder on amazon for $60 and it's changed my life. kaptainmyke private msg quote post Address this user
Yep. He lives on an island and already thinks he's entitled over all of us. He told me.
Post 119 IP   flag post
Collector X51 private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaptainmyke
Quote:
Originally Posted by X51
Generally speaking, people don't respect a weak-minded perspective. You aren't going to be persuasive if you say "maybe" or "I don't know" a lot.


Which is why my mother-in-law don't see eye-to-eye. She's an extremely religious person. Like, super extreme. It's all she holds onto.


I can usually debate religion peacefully.
Post 120 IP   flag post
Collector Logan510 private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by MR_SigS
Honest question- Isn't it somewhat belittling or demeaning to suggest a person doesn't truly believe what they're posting, and that they're just playing devil's advocate?

EDIT: Or should I say, "Couldn't it be perceived as somewhat..?"


How is it demeaning when they fully admit it's what they're doing? You've been around message boards long enough to know that there's always a handful of people who're auto contrarians.

Personal pet peeve of mine, but that's neither here nor there.
Post 121 IP   flag post
Collector Logan510 private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by KingNampa
Guys stop for a second a look at the futility of this thread and the back and forth. There is no point.


There's a back and forth going on? I thought it was just people offering different perspectives on the subject.

No hostility from this end, can't speak for others though.
Post 122 IP   flag post
Collector KingNampa private msg quote post Address this user
The OP just asked if there was a block feature and now look at it. The OP left after the 1st page.
Post 123 IP   flag post
I bought a meat grinder on amazon for $60 and it's changed my life. kaptainmyke private msg quote post Address this user
It's evolved into deep meaningful discussion about debate. I think that's a good thing.
Post 124 IP   flag post
Collector Logan510 private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by KingNampa
The OP just asked if there was a block feature and now look at it. The OP left after the 1st page.


Thread drift is pretty normal isn't it? As long as it doesn't devolve into snarky, passive aggressive comments or outright hostility it should be OK and if not I'm sure the mods will do something about it.
Post 125 IP   flag post
Collector DocBrown private msg quote post Address this user
Wow.

That's pretty bold.

Wow!
Post 126 IP   flag post
Collector DocBrown private msg quote post Address this user
For those without a playbook, there's been quite a bit of passive/aggressive posturing going on, despite implications to the contrary.

Believe not what people say. Believe what they do.
Post 127 IP   flag post
Collector Etkt private msg quote post Address this user
I learn a lot about comics and collecting comics on this forum. There are a lot of folks here that take things too personally, in my view, and others that simply like to challenge for the sake of challenge. All in all I enjoy this forum.

Post 116 by X51 reminded me of a valuable lesson I learned back in 1992 in a class for middle management (subject of the class is not important to my point). I hope the point will come through in this summary:

The class was divided into two groups based on the results of a personality test. Each group had two flip charts that the other group could not observe. The instruction was to write, using a magic marker, on one of the charts, which was a clean piece of paper, all of the things that we could see on the other chart.

Our chart looked like a military recruitment poster. We dutifully wrote down something like the following: tank, aircraft carrier, jet, soldier, M-16 rifle, etc.

The other group did the same with their poster.

The flip charts were then turned such that each group could see the others poster. The posters were identical, however, the other group did not write down a single item that we had listed. Rather, their list included such things as: aggression, hostility, destruction, conflict, war, etc.

I was absolutely astonished. I completely understood their point, however, I actually walked to their poster and said "you can't see this tank right here?"

It was an eye-opening event for me. Not everyone hears what I hear or sees what I see. Very cool experience.
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Collector X51 private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by Logan510
Quote:
Originally Posted by MR_SigS
Honest question- Isn't it somewhat belittling or demeaning to suggest a person doesn't truly believe what they're posting, and that they're just playing devil's advocate?

EDIT: Or should I say, "Couldn't it be perceived as somewhat..?"


How is it demeaning when they fully admit it's what they're doing? You've been around message boards long enough to know that there's always a handful of people who're auto contrarians.

Personal pet peeve of mine, but that's neither here nor there.


In an ideal situation, I'd be conversing with highly knowledgeable people who are conveying tidbits of information that I find to be educational. I would learn something useful and walk away feeling as though I gained something positive.

Unfortunately, it's harder to get people motivated to post that kind of content.
Post 129 IP   flag post
Collector DocBrown private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by Etkt
Not everyone hears what I hear or sees what I see. Very cool experience.


So, then, what is your conclusion? How, if I see blue, and you see green, does it get resolved, since both can't be true in an absolute sense, and such conflict means little to nothing can be meaningfully achieved...?

How do you resolve conflict, in other words?
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